<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8" standalone="yes"?><rss version="2.0" xmlns:atom="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom" xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/"><channel><title>romance on NoBakwas.com</title><link>https://nobakwas.com/posts/romance/</link><description>Recent content in romance on NoBakwas.com</description><image><title>NoBakwas.com</title><url>https://nobakwas.com/images/cover.png</url><link>https://nobakwas.com/images/cover.png</link></image><generator>Hugo -- 0.156.0</generator><language>en-us</language><lastBuildDate>Thu, 16 Apr 2026 10:00:00 +0530</lastBuildDate><atom:link href="https://nobakwas.com/posts/romance/index.xml" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml"/><item><title>The Formula She Couldn't Balance</title><link>https://nobakwas.com/posts/romance/the-formula-she-couldnt-balance/</link><pubDate>Thu, 16 Apr 2026 10:00:00 +0530</pubDate><guid>https://nobakwas.com/posts/romance/the-formula-she-couldnt-balance/</guid><description>A summer training at Paradeep Phosphates. A girl who kept making mistakes she had never made before. And an engineer from Ahmedabad who noticed everything except the obvious.</description><content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>The wedding date had not been fixed yet, but Simi could feel it settling into the house the way monsoon humidity does — silently, everywhere, impossible to escape.</p>
<p>Her father had mentioned the name twice now. Arvind. Son of some business family in Cuttack, educated abroad, good family, good money — all the words her father used that meant the conversation was already over before it began. Her mother had started talking about silk sarees. Her aunt from Puri had already called twice.</p>
<p>Simi sat on the edge of her bed in their large Bhubaneswar bungalow — the kind with a garden in front and a generator out back and a separate room just for her father&rsquo;s guests — and stared at the ceiling fan turning slowly in the afternoon heat.</p>
<p>And thought about Paradip.</p>
<p>She always came back to Paradip.</p>
<hr>
<p><img alt="Simi nervous at the burette, Rajesh watching from behind" loading="lazy" src="/images/romance/the-formula-she-couldnt-balance/lab_error.png">
<em>The analytical lab at PPL — where her hands first stopped listening to her</em></p>
<hr>
<p><strong>The first day she arrived at Paradeep Phosphates Limited, she thought she would hate it.</strong></p>
<p>The plant was forty minutes from the town by road, and in May, the coastal air outside hit you like a wall — hot and dense and salt-stung. The facility was enormous, industrial and serious, with the low hum and sharp smell of sulphuric acid plants in the background and row after row of DAP production units stretching across the compound. The PPE felt heavy and stiff in the heat — hard hat, safety goggles, closed shoes that were not the white sneakers she usually wore.</p>
<p>She was one of four trainees assigned to the analytical lab. The other three were boys from government engineering colleges who wore their nervousness loudly, talking too much and laughing at nothing. Simi had done her research. She had read PPL&rsquo;s process manuals on the train from Bhubaneswar. She was ready.</p>
<p>The engineer who came to brief the trainees that morning was not who she expected.</p>
<p>He walked in at exactly nine, in a pressed white shirt, clipboard in hand, and looked at the group with the kind of calm that comes from not needing to prove anything. He introduced himself in plain, precise Hindi. <em>Rajesh Mehta. Analytical section supervisor. You&rsquo;ll be rotating through three sub-sections over eight weeks.</em></p>
<p>He did not smile. He checked their names against a list. He explained the safety protocols in the same even tone he probably used to explain everything. When he looked at Simi to confirm her name, his eyes passed over her the way they passed over everyone else — like a fact being registered.</p>
<p>She told herself it was the PPE. Or the heat. Or the fact that she hadn&rsquo;t slept well on the train.</p>
<p>She told herself it was not him.</p>
<hr>
<p><strong>The first mistake happened on day four.</strong></p>
<p>She was running a titration — the kind she had done in her college lab thirty times without error. Simple procedure, standard reagents, the result should have been 18.4 ml. She read 21.7.</p>
<p>She stared at the burette.</p>
<p><em>Read it again,</em> Rajesh said, from somewhere just behind her left shoulder, closer than she expected.</p>
<p>She read it again. 21.7.</p>
<p>He took the burette from the stand without touching her hand — there was one careful inch between his fingers and hers — and checked the meniscus himself. His forearm was three inches from her face when he held it up to the light. She could see the faint lines of his watch strap against his skin.</p>
<p><em>Parallax error,</em> he said, very calmly. <em>The light in this corner is wrong. Move to station three for readings.</em></p>
<p>He set the burette down and walked away to the next trainee.</p>
<p>Simi looked at station three. She looked at her result sheet. She had never made a parallax error in her life. Not once.</p>
<p>She moved to station three and told herself she just needed to concentrate.</p>
<hr>
<p>It happened again on day six. And day nine. Never when the other engineers supervised her — never when his colleague Suresh was walking the floor, or when the senior trainee Priya was checking results. Only with Rajesh. Only when he was within ten feet of her did her hands do things they had no reason to do — a wrong pipette volume, an endpoint overshot, a reading transposed.</p>
<p>By the end of the second week, she knew what it was. She had known, probably, from the third day, but knowing it and saying it were different things. Her hands were unreliable around him because the rest of her was unreliable around him.</p>
<p>She found this both mortifying and — quietly, in a way she kept very small — wonderful.</p>
<hr>
<p><strong>She didn&rsquo;t know that his friends had noticed before he did.</strong></p>
<p>There were three of them — Vikram, Anand, and Suresh — who had worked with Rajesh for two years and understood him the way you understand a person when you have eaten lunch with them three hundred times. They noticed the way Simi&rsquo;s results were always slightly off on his supervision days. They noticed the way she took notes more carefully when he was explaining something.</p>
<p>On a Thursday evening in the third week, when the trainees had joined the lab team for tea outside the plant gate on the dusty road that ran toward the port terminal — Paradip&rsquo;s industrial horizon behind them, cargo ships visible in the distance like grey mountains — Vikram said to Rajesh, very casually: <em>Your trainee makes mistakes only with you, you know.</em></p>
<p>Rajesh looked at him.</p>
<p><em>I have noticed,</em> he said. <em>The station lighting is inconsistent.</em></p>
<p>Anand looked at Suresh. Suresh looked at his chai.</p>
<p><em>Yes,</em> Vikram said. <em>The lighting.</em> And he smiled into his cup.</p>
<hr>
<p><img alt="Simi and Rajesh at Paradeep Sea Beach at golden hour" loading="lazy" src="/images/romance/the-formula-she-couldnt-balance/paradeep_beach.png">
<em>Paradeep Sea Beach, Marine Drive — twenty-five minutes on a bike that felt longer</em></p>
<hr>
<p><strong>The picnic to Paradeep Beach was Anand&rsquo;s idea, but the seating arrangement on the way back was Vikram&rsquo;s.</strong></p>
<p>It was a Sunday, the trainees&rsquo; only full day off, and the lab team took two bikes and a borrowed jeep to Paradeep Sea Beach — the long quiet stretch where the Bay of Bengal meets the shore and the sand is deep gold and the water is the kind of blue you don&rsquo;t believe is real until you are standing in it.</p>
<p>Simi had been to better beaches. Her family had taken her to Puri&rsquo;s five-star beachfront resort, holidays planned in advance and charged to her father&rsquo;s corporate card. But there was something different about this one — the way it was empty in the early morning, the way the water came in low and slow, the way the lighthouse stood in the distance like an old certainty.</p>
<p>She took her dupatta off and held it in her hand and let the wind take her hair loose from the braid.</p>
<p>She did not know that Rajesh was standing twenty feet behind her, watching the same water, until she turned.</p>
<p>He looked away first.</p>
<p>They ate roasted peanuts from a small vendor near the wooden walkway and walked along the Marine Drive, the coastal road that curved beside the sea. Simi walked with Priya. Rajesh walked with Vikram. Four feet of salt air between them.</p>
<p>On the way back — the sun low and amber, the bikes packed — Vikram declared loudly that the jeep&rsquo;s back seat was full and looked directly at Simi with the expression of a man who has planned this very carefully.</p>
<p><em>Simi di, you&rsquo;ll have to take the bike with Rajesh bhai. If you don&rsquo;t mind.</em></p>
<p>She minded so much she said fine immediately.</p>
<p>The ride back was twenty-five minutes on the narrow road from Paradeep Beach toward the staff quarters. The wind was warm and sharp with salt. She held the back handle of the bike and then, when the road got uneven near the Smruti Udayan turn, she did not hold the back handle anymore. She held his jacket instead — carefully, with two fingers, like she was pretending she wasn&rsquo;t doing it.</p>
<p>He didn&rsquo;t say anything. She didn&rsquo;t say anything. Twenty-five minutes.</p>
<hr>
<p><strong>The girl in the corridor was named Silu, and she was Simi&rsquo;s own friend.</strong></p>
<p>Simi had met Silu in the first week — she was from Cuttack, placed in the PPL HR department, easy to talk to. They had eaten lunch together twice, walked around Smruti Udayan Park on Saturday morning, bought bangles together at the small market near the port gate. Simi liked her without reservation.</p>
<p>Until the Wednesday afternoon she turned the corner near the plant&rsquo;s administrative block and saw Silu standing with Rajesh in the corridor — both of them leaning against the wall, laughing. Not professionally laughing. <em>Laughing.</em> Like people who find each other genuinely amusing.</p>
<p>She kept walking. She went into the break room, poured tea she didn&rsquo;t want, and stood looking at the industrial skyline through the window — the fertilizer plant&rsquo;s pipes and columns against the flat blue sky — and felt something she did not have a clean word for.</p>
<p>That evening, when Rajesh called the ladies&rsquo; hostel to clarify a data point from the day&rsquo;s lab session, she did not answer.</p>
<p>She told herself she was busy.</p>
<p>He called the next day. She did not answer again.</p>
<p>In the lab on Thursday she was professional and precise and made no errors and did not look at him directly. He tried twice to speak to her outside the technical context. She gathered her notes and left. On Friday he tried once more, in the corridor outside the lab. <em>Simi.</em> Just her name, in that steady way he had of saying things. She kept walking.</p>
<p>She was not proud of herself. But she also knew that she was twenty-one years old and had never felt anything like what she felt in that corridor, and it sat badly in her chest and she did not know how to set it down.</p>
<hr>
<p><img alt="Simi crying beside Rajesh in the hospital room, their hands together" loading="lazy" src="/images/romance/the-formula-she-couldnt-balance/hospital_room.png">
<em>Paradeep Government Hospital — the only place she stopped pretending</em></p>
<hr>
<p><strong>She was in the canteen on Friday evening when Priya came in with the news.</strong></p>
<p><em>Rajesh bhai had an accident. On the Kujang road. He&rsquo;s at the hospital.</em></p>
<p>Simi stood up before the sentence was finished.</p>
<p>She does not remember the autorickshaw ride to Paradeep&rsquo;s hospital — the narrow roads, the evening heat, Silu sitting beside her saying things she didn&rsquo;t hear. She remembers the fluorescent light of the corridor. The smell of antiseptic. Vikram at the door, his face saying: relieved it wasn&rsquo;t worse.</p>
<p><em>Road, uneven patch, he went down. Left arm fractured. Ribs bruised. He&rsquo;s okay. He&rsquo;s awake.</em></p>
<p>She went in.</p>
<p>He was sitting up slightly in the bed — white bandage on his left arm, a plaster on his chin, the line of his jaw tight the way it went when he was dealing with something without showing it. He looked at her when she came in and something in his expression shifted — just slightly.</p>
<p>She sat in the chair beside the bed and said nothing for three seconds and then she was crying, which she had not planned. Not quietly. Not politely. The way you cry when you have been holding something for four weeks and a white hospital room takes away your ability to pretend.</p>
<p><em>You are my love,</em> she said, through tears that surprised both of them. <em>Please be careful always. Please.</em></p>
<p>He was quiet for a moment. Then his right hand — the one without the bandage — found hers on the chair armrest.</p>
<p><em>I love you, Simi,</em> he said. Quietly. No preamble. No poetry. Just a fact he had been carrying and now set down in her lap. <em>Very much.</em></p>
<p>She laughed through the crying, which felt ridiculous and also exactly right.</p>
<p>Silu, standing in the doorway, turned around and very carefully pulled the door shut behind her.</p>
<hr>
<p><img alt="Simi and Rajesh walking together at Smruti Udayan Park in the early morning" loading="lazy" src="/images/romance/the-formula-she-couldnt-balance/smruti_udayan_park.png">
<em>Smruti Udayan Park, Paradip — morning chai, flower plots, and four inches of distance that said everything</em></p>
<hr>
<p><strong>The weeks after that had their own quality — lighter and heavier at once.</strong></p>
<p>They walked together in Smruti Udayan Park in the early mornings before the heat settled in, along the paths between the flower plots and the musical fountain whose stone basin caught the first light. She would buy him chai from the small stall near the park gate. He would buy her roasted corn from the evening vendor outside the PPL gate. Small exchanges. Small certainties.</p>
<p>They ate fish curry at the small restaurant near the Paradip Port market complex — the kind of place with plastic chairs and no pretensions and the freshest pomfret in Odisha — and he told her about Ahmedabad, about his father&rsquo;s hardware shop on Relief Road, the particular smell of metal and sawdust, the way his mother made dal baati churma on Sunday mornings. She told him about her father&rsquo;s bungalow and the generator and the marble floors and the way she sometimes found it very quiet — the kind of quiet that has too much money in it.</p>
<p><em>Your world is very different from mine,</em> he said. Not as a complaint. A fact.</p>
<p><em>I know,</em> she said. She set a fish bone aside and looked at him. <em>I don&rsquo;t care about that.</em></p>
<p>He looked at her steadily. <em>Your father will.</em></p>
<p>She didn&rsquo;t answer. Because she knew he was right, and she had decided not to think about that yet.</p>
<hr>
<p><strong>She thought about it every day from August to December.</strong></p>
<p>The training ended. They went back to their separate lives — she to Bhubaneswar, he to Ahmedabad and then back to Paradeep for his permanent posting. She called him standing in the stairwell of her house late at night, or walking to the corner shop with a reason that had nothing to do with the corner shop. His voice was the same on the phone as in person — steady, unhurried, present in a way that made her feel found.</p>
<p>Her family knew nothing.</p>
<p>Her father spoke of Arvind twice more. Her mother said <em>good values, solid family</em> — meaning: money like ours. Her aunt from Puri said <em>Simi is not getting younger</em> in the way that aunts say things that are meant to be helpful.</p>
<p>The proposal was set for a Sunday meeting. Simi was expected to sit in the drawing room in a nice saree and smile.</p>
<p>She called Rajesh from the stairwell the night before, past midnight.</p>
<p>She told him everything. The meeting. The date. The Cuttack family&rsquo;s name.</p>
<p>On the other end of the line she heard him breathe in once, slowly.</p>
<p><em>I need you in my life, Simi.</em> His voice was quiet and certain. <em>Nothing else is needed. Please.</em></p>
<p>She sat on the cold stairwell marble and closed her eyes.</p>
<p>That was all she needed. Not a plan, not a promise she could hold in her hand — just that voice, just those words, just the knowledge that somewhere in a staff quarters flat near the PPL plant, a man with a scar on his chin was sitting in the dark saying <em>I need you</em> like it was the simplest truth he had ever spoken.</p>
<p>She went to sleep. She did not shake.</p>
<hr>
<p><img alt="Simi standing firm before her father in their Bhubaneswar drawing room" loading="lazy" src="/images/romance/the-formula-she-couldnt-balance/simis_stand.png">
<em>The Bhubaneswar drawing room — the day Simi stopped asking for permission</em></p>
<hr>
<p><strong>The Sunday meeting happened. Simi sat in the drawing room in a nice saree.</strong></p>
<p>She waited until Arvind&rsquo;s mother finished describing their property in Cuttack.</p>
<p>Then she said, politely and clearly, looking at her father: <em>Papa, I love someone else. I want to marry him.</em></p>
<p>The room went quiet the way rooms go quiet in moments that change things.</p>
<p>Her father looked at her for a long time. <em>Who,</em> he said.</p>
<p>She told him.</p>
<hr>
<p>It was not easy. Nothing that follows those words in an Odia household with marble floors and a guest generator is easy. There were weeks of silence that pressed against her like stone. There were conversations where her father said things she could see cost him something — his idea of what her life was supposed to look like.</p>
<p>But she did not waver. She had made a decision on a cold stairwell and she kept it.</p>
<p>Her father flew to Paradeep. He drove to the PPL staff quarters. He met a man in a plain white shirt who offered him tea from a gas stove and spoke honestly and did not try to be more than he was. Her father sat in that small flat — nothing like their Bhubaneswar house, nothing at all like it — and looked at the man his daughter had chosen.</p>
<p>He told Simi afterward, much later, that what changed his mind was the answer to one question.</p>
<p><em>What can you give my daughter?</em></p>
<p>Rajesh had thought about it for a moment. Then: <em>Not everything she has now. But everything I have, always. That I can promise.</em></p>
<p>Her father looked at his tea.</p>
<p><em>Come to Bhubaneswar in two months,</em> he said. <em>With your parents.</em></p>
<hr>
<p>The wedding was in February, in the month when Bhubaneswar is cool and the marigolds are heavy with gold. In the middle of the ceremony, while the priest recited something long and steady, Simi looked at Rajesh beside her and thought about a titration she had gotten wrong at 9 a.m. on a Thursday in May.</p>
<p>He caught her looking.</p>
<p><em>What?</em> he mouthed.</p>
<p>She shook her head. <em>Nothing.</em> She looked forward again.</p>
<p>She was never going to tell him. That the first time she loved him was a parallax error on a burette.</p>
<p>Some mistakes, it turns out, are the most precise things you ever do.</p>
<hr>
<p><em>Paradeep Phosphates Limited, where this story is set, is a real fertilizer manufacturing facility on the coast of Odisha, at the confluence of the Mahanadi river and the Bay of Bengal. The beaches, parks, and streets in this story are real places.</em></p>
]]></content:encoded></item><item><title>Some Mistakes Are Worth Keeping</title><link>https://nobakwas.com/posts/romance/some-mistakes-are-worth-keeping/</link><pubDate>Tue, 14 Apr 2026 10:00:00 +0530</pubDate><guid>https://nobakwas.com/posts/romance/some-mistakes-are-worth-keeping/</guid><description>A chance meeting on a railway platform. A season of rain and arguments. A letter written but never sent. And a rooftop where two people finally stopped pretending.</description><content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Raanu almost didn&rsquo;t make it to the bed that night.</p>
<p>She had been sitting on the floor of her hostel room for an hour — back against the wall, knees pulled in, staring at the ceiling fan that made a soft ticking sound on every third rotation. Her roommate had gone home for the weekend. The silence was the kind that does not comfort you. It just shows you how much space a person takes up even when they are not there.</p>
<p>She thought about calling her mother. She didn&rsquo;t.</p>
<p>She thought about crying. She wasn&rsquo;t sure what she was sad about exactly, only that something had shifted somewhere inside her and hadn&rsquo;t shifted back. Maybe it was nothing. Maybe she was just tired. Bhubaneswar summers were long and unkind, and she had been running on bad sleep and black tea for three weeks.</p>
<p>She finally made it to the bed at 1 a.m. and lay there staring at the same ceiling fan, thinking: <em>if something doesn&rsquo;t change, I will go mad.</em></p>
<p>Two days later, something changed.</p>
<hr>
<p><img alt="Raanu and Ranjan meet unexpectedly on a crowded railway platform" loading="lazy" src="/images/romance/some-mistakes-are-worth-keeping/platform_encounter.png">
<em>An unexpected meeting — Raanu and Ranjan, a busy platform, dusk</em></p>
<hr>
<p>The Bhubaneswar railway station at 6 p.m. is not a place designed for quiet introspection.</p>
<p>It smells of tea stalls and diesel and something fried that you can never quite identify. The announcements come in three languages and none of them are clear. People move like they are all slightly late for something. Raanu was late for something. She had a bag on her shoulder, a ticket in her hand, and a vague anxiety that she had left the gas on — she hadn&rsquo;t, she almost never did, but she checked three times anyway.</p>
<p>She turned too fast.</p>
<p>The bag slid off her shoulder and took half her things with it — a book, her headphones, the small notebook she carried everywhere. She went to grab everything at once and ended up crouching in the middle of the platform like a person assembling themselves from pieces, and a man she had never seen before crouched beside her and handed her the notebook without a word.</p>
<p>She took it. She looked up.</p>
<p>He was tall, lean, with the kind of face that looked like it had made up its mind about most things. Short neat hair, clean jaw, eyes that were dark and steady in a way that felt almost rude to stare at.</p>
<p>&ldquo;Your book,&rdquo; he said, holding it out.</p>
<p>&ldquo;I see that,&rdquo; she said.</p>
<p>She took it. He stood. She stood. They looked at each other for a second that lasted slightly longer than a second should.</p>
<p>&ldquo;Thank you,&rdquo; she said, which was the correct thing to say, and she turned and walked to her platform before she could say anything incorrect.</p>
<p>On the train, she opened the notebook and found that one page had been folded accidentally in the fall. She smoothed it out carefully. She did not think about him again until she was almost home — and then she thought about him only briefly, in the absent-minded way you think about things that don&rsquo;t matter.</p>
<p>She told herself this three times, which should have been a clue.</p>
<hr>
<p>His name was Ranjan.</p>
<p>She found this out three weeks later when she saw him at a mutual friend&rsquo;s birthday gathering — the kind where you don&rsquo;t know half the people but you eat the cake anyway. He was standing near the window, a glass in his hand, talking to someone who was doing most of the talking. He had that quality of listening that some people have, where they are entirely still and you believe, genuinely, that you are the most interesting person in the room.</p>
<p>She was introduced to him by Priya, who said &ldquo;this is Ranjan, he works in Ahmedabad but he&rsquo;s here for a project&rdquo; in the same tone she used for everyone, which was warm and slightly too loud.</p>
<p>&ldquo;We&rsquo;ve met,&rdquo; Raanu said.</p>
<p>Ranjan looked at her for a moment. &ldquo;The notebook,&rdquo; he said.</p>
<p>&ldquo;The notebook,&rdquo; she confirmed.</p>
<p>Priya looked between them and decided this was interesting. She found somewhere else to be.</p>
<p>That evening they talked for two hours about nothing in particular — about the city, about whether filter coffee was better than chai, about a film he&rsquo;d watched on the train that she&rsquo;d read the book of. He had opinions about everything and stated them plainly, without performance, which she found either very confident or very honest and wasn&rsquo;t sure which.</p>
<p>When she got home, her roommate asked how the party was.</p>
<p>&ldquo;Fine,&rdquo; she said.</p>
<p>&ldquo;Just fine?&rdquo;</p>
<p>&ldquo;There was this person,&rdquo; Raanu said, and then stopped, because she hadn&rsquo;t decided yet what she wanted to say about him.</p>
<hr>
<p><img alt="Raanu sits alone in the quiet evening, still and lost in thought" loading="lazy" src="/images/romance/some-mistakes-are-worth-keeping/quiet_evening_sorrow.png">
<em>The quiet weight of something unspoken — Raanu, alone, evening</em></p>
<hr>
<p>The next four weeks were what she later called the in-between time.</p>
<p>They had exchanged numbers at the party — Priya had orchestrated this cheerfully — and they texted occasionally. Not the way she texted her friends, which was a constant low hum of noise and jokes. It was quieter than that. He would send something thoughtful at odd hours; she would respond with either too much or too little. There was a conversation about an article he&rsquo;d read about language and memory that lasted three days. There was a conversation about a rainstorm that lasted five minutes. There was no pattern to it and she tried not to read anything into that.</p>
<p>She tried not to read anything into most of it.</p>
<p>But she would be lying if she said she didn&rsquo;t notice things. That he remembered small details she had mentioned once — that she drank coffee without sugar, that she always bought two books when she meant to buy one, that she found the rain more comforting than most people she knew. That when he was going to be away from his phone he told her, which was not a thing she had asked for and was not nothing.</p>
<p>She found herself looking forward to the messages and then being annoyed that she looked forward to them, and then looking forward to them anyway.</p>
<p>Her roommate said: &ldquo;You&rsquo;re very complicated.&rdquo;</p>
<p>Raanu said: &ldquo;I know.&rdquo;</p>
<hr>
<p>One evening she called him instead of texting.</p>
<p>She wasn&rsquo;t sure why. She was standing on the balcony with a cup of coffee that had gone slightly cold, watching the street below, and she called him before she&rsquo;d fully decided to. He picked up on the second ring.</p>
<p>&ldquo;Hey,&rdquo; he said. Just that.</p>
<p>&ldquo;Hi,&rdquo; she said. &ldquo;I didn&rsquo;t — I just wanted to talk. Is that okay?&rdquo;</p>
<p>&ldquo;Yeah,&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;It&rsquo;s okay.&rdquo;</p>
<p>She hadn&rsquo;t planned anything to say. They talked for almost two hours. About his project and her thesis and a street in Bhubaneswar where there was a small bookshop that still had physical maps. About what it felt like to be far from home — he was from Ahmedabad; she was from a town two hours away that most people hadn&rsquo;t heard of. About the particular loneliness of being in a city that isn&rsquo;t yours.</p>
<p>At some point she was lying on the floor of her room with her feet against the wall, looking at the ceiling fan with its third-rotation tick, and she felt something in her chest settle, the way things settle after a long time of being unsettled.</p>
<p>She didn&rsquo;t say anything about this to him.</p>
<p>She thought about it for a long time after she hung up.</p>
<hr>
<p><img alt="Raanu and Ranjan in an argument in the monsoon rain, fierce and raw" loading="lazy" src="/images/romance/some-mistakes-are-worth-keeping/monsoon_rain_argument.png">
<em>The rain said what they couldn&rsquo;t — a moment of truth, monsoon</em></p>
<hr>
<p>They fought in the rain.</p>
<p>It was July. The monsoon that year came in fast and stayed. Raanu had started to think that maybe, slowly, something between them was becoming something — not yet named, not yet claimed, but present, undeniable, the way a sound is present even before you can identify it.</p>
<p>And then he said, without warning, at a tea stall on a Tuesday evening, that he&rsquo;d been offered an extension on his project. That he would likely be in Bhubaneswar until October at least.</p>
<p>She said: &ldquo;Oh. That&rsquo;s good.&rdquo;</p>
<p>He looked at her. &ldquo;Is it?&rdquo;</p>
<p>She set down her cup. &ldquo;What does that mean?&rdquo;</p>
<p>&ldquo;I don&rsquo;t know,&rdquo; he said, which was the first time she had heard him say that, and it unsettled her more than she expected. &ldquo;I thought you&rsquo;d say something.&rdquo;</p>
<p>&ldquo;I am saying something. I said that&rsquo;s good.&rdquo;</p>
<p>&ldquo;That&rsquo;s not —&rdquo; He stopped.</p>
<p>&ldquo;What do you want me to say, Ranjan?&rdquo;</p>
<p>&ldquo;I want to know what this is,&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;I think I&rsquo;ve been clear about what I want. You haven&rsquo;t been.&rdquo;</p>
<p>She stood up. &ldquo;I haven&rsquo;t been clear because I&rsquo;m not clear. I don&rsquo;t just — I can&rsquo;t just decide things and announce them like you do. Some of us need time.&rdquo;</p>
<p>&ldquo;I&rsquo;m not asking you to decide tonight. I&rsquo;ve never asked that. I&rsquo;m asking you to say something real.&rdquo;</p>
<p>They were outside by then. It had started to rain without either of them noticing. She had her hand pressed against his chest — she wasn&rsquo;t sure when that had happened — and he was looking at her the way he looked at things he was trying to understand, quiet and entirely focused, and the rain was soaking through her kurta and she was furious and also not furious at all, which was worse.</p>
<p>&ldquo;I&rsquo;m scared,&rdquo; she said. And she hadn&rsquo;t known she was going to say it until it was out.</p>
<p>He didn&rsquo;t say anything for a moment. Then: &ldquo;Okay.&rdquo;</p>
<p>&ldquo;That&rsquo;s all you have to say? Okay?&rdquo;</p>
<p>&ldquo;I&rsquo;m scared too,&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;That&rsquo;s not a reason to not do it.&rdquo;</p>
<p>She took her hand back. She walked home alone. She didn&rsquo;t cry. She sat in her room with wet hair and thought about the way he&rsquo;d said <em>okay</em> — not dismissively, not gently, just straightforwardly, like it was a fact he&rsquo;d already made peace with.</p>
<p>She hated that it made sense to her.</p>
<hr>
<p><img alt="Raanu in the quiet early morning, a letter on the desk, deciding" loading="lazy" src="/images/romance/some-mistakes-are-worth-keeping/quiet_morning_dim_room.png">
<em>Before a decision — Raanu, early morning, the letter she almost sent</em></p>
<hr>
<p>She wrote him a letter.</p>
<p>Not a text. An actual letter, on paper, with a pen that ran out halfway through and she finished it with a different pen in slightly different ink. She wrote it at 5 a.m. on a Sunday, sitting at her desk with the window open and the early light still blue, and she wrote everything she hadn&rsquo;t said — about the ceiling fan and the notebook and the phone call and what she felt in her chest when he picked up on the second ring.</p>
<p>She wrote: <em>I think I have been trying to protect myself from you since the beginning. I don&rsquo;t know what that says about me. It probably says something.</em></p>
<p>She wrote: <em>The problem is I think about you when I&rsquo;m not with you and I notice when I haven&rsquo;t heard from you and I want to tell you things and I think these are all just different words for the same thing.</em></p>
<p>She folded it and put it in an envelope and addressed it and set it on her desk under her coffee cup.</p>
<p>She did not send it.</p>
<p>She went back to bed and lay there watching the ceiling fan begin to move as the morning heat built, and she thought: <em>you know what you feel. You&rsquo;ve always known.</em> The letter was not about information. She already had all the information. The letter was about courage, and she hadn&rsquo;t decided yet if she had it.</p>
<p>A jasmine she had bought from a vendor three days ago sat in a small clay cup on the desk, now mostly dried, still faintly fragrant. She watched the light change on the walls.</p>
<p>Then she picked up her phone.</p>
<hr>
<p>She called him.</p>
<p>He picked up on the second ring — always the second ring, she had noticed — and before he could say anything she said: &ldquo;I wrote you a letter. I&rsquo;m not going to send it. But I wanted you to know it exists.&rdquo;</p>
<p>A pause.</p>
<p>&ldquo;What does it say?&rdquo;</p>
<p>&ldquo;Everything I should have said in the rain.&rdquo;</p>
<p>Another pause, longer this time. Then he said: &ldquo;I&rsquo;ll be at Priya&rsquo;s rooftop at six. Come if you want.&rdquo;</p>
<p>&ldquo;And if I don&rsquo;t?&rdquo;</p>
<p>&ldquo;Then don&rsquo;t,&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;But I&rsquo;ll be there.&rdquo;</p>
<hr>
<p><img alt="Raanu and Ranjan on a rooftop at sunset — a moment of silent understanding" loading="lazy" src="/images/romance/some-mistakes-are-worth-keeping/silent_connection_sunset.png">
<em>The rooftop at six — Raanu and Ranjan, golden hour, a silence that said everything</em></p>
<hr>
<p>She came.</p>
<p>The sun was almost at the skyline when she stepped onto Priya&rsquo;s rooftop, the city spread out below, orange and gold and the deep quiet blue of buildings in the far distance. He was already there, standing with his back half to her, sleeves rolled up, looking out.</p>
<p>He heard her come up and turned, and they looked at each other across the space between them — three feet, four feet, she was bad at distances — and neither of them said anything.</p>
<p>She thought about the letter on her desk. About the rain. About the ceiling fan and the second ring and the page that had folded in the fall.</p>
<p>She thought: <em>here is the thing about mistakes. You don&rsquo;t always know they&rsquo;re mistakes while you&rsquo;re making them. Sometimes you only find out what a thing was after it has already happened. After it has already changed you.</em></p>
<p><em>And sometimes what you thought was the mistake wasn&rsquo;t the choice you made. It was how long you waited to make it.</em></p>
<p>She walked the last four feet.</p>
<p>&ldquo;Hi,&rdquo; she said.</p>
<p>&ldquo;Hi,&rdquo; he said.</p>
<p>The sun finished setting. The city lit up below them, a thousand small lights. He didn&rsquo;t reach for her hand immediately; she didn&rsquo;t say any of the things she&rsquo;d rehearsed. They just stood there, close enough, looking at the same skyline, and after a while that was enough.</p>
<p>More than enough.</p>
<hr>
<p><em>Some mistakes are worth keeping. Some of them — if you let them — become the thing you&rsquo;re most glad you didn&rsquo;t walk away from.</em></p>
]]></content:encoded></item><item><title>the Choices We Make: a Journey to Rediscovery</title><link>https://nobakwas.com/posts/romance/the-choices-we-make-a-journey-to-rediscovery_20250914_17/</link><pubDate>Sun, 14 Sep 2025 17:41:35 +0530</pubDate><guid>https://nobakwas.com/posts/romance/the-choices-we-make-a-journey-to-rediscovery_20250914_17/</guid><description>&lt;p&gt;Ritu stood in front of the mirror, her reflection revealing a woman who had lost a part of herself. The soft, golden morning light streamed through the window, highlighting the faint dark circles under her eyes. She brushed a strand of hair behind her ear, contemplating the restless nights spent worrying about her family, her husband, Ramesh Babu, who wore his bank official badge as a cloak of authority, leaving hardly any room for her voice.&lt;/p&gt;</description><content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Ritu stood in front of the mirror, her reflection revealing a woman who had lost a part of herself. The soft, golden morning light streamed through the window, highlighting the faint dark circles under her eyes. She brushed a strand of hair behind her ear, contemplating the restless nights spent worrying about her family, her husband, Ramesh Babu, who wore his bank official badge as a cloak of authority, leaving hardly any room for her voice.</p>
<p>&ldquo;Today is the alumni meet, Ritu. You’ll have fun,&rdquo; she whispered to herself, attempting to muster some enthusiasm. It had taken great effort to gain Ramesh&rsquo;s permission to attend. &ldquo;Just a few hours,&rdquo; she kept reassuring him, though she knew he was indifferent to her desires.</p>
<p>Later that day, as dusk settled over Indore and the skies turned a soft shade of purple, Ritu entered the familiar hall buzzing with laughter and chatter.</p>
<p><img alt="An indoor hall adorned with nostalgic" loading="lazy" src="/images/romance/ritu_the_lonely_housewife_20250914_17_pics_20250914_17/image1.jpg">
<em>An indoor hall adorned with nostalgic college photos, lively crowd, Nostalgic and lively, Summer, evening</em></p>
<p>Nostalgia washed over her like a refreshing breeze. The walls were adorned with memories, the air filled with the scent of fried pakoras, and the sound of old friends reconnecting created a warm ambiance.</p>
<p>Among the crowd, she spotted Rajesh, her college crush, standing tall and confident beside a group of mutual friends. His handsome face had matured, and an air of charm surrounded him, making her heart skip a beat. She often wondered about him, but life had taken them on separate journeys. During their college days, they were inseparable, weaving dreams together, but those dreams faded away like mist once she said &ldquo;I do&rdquo; to Ramesh.</p>
<p>As the evening progressed, old stories unfolded and laughter erupted around them. Yet, Ritu felt a strange tension in the air when she was near Rajesh. It was as if the universe was toying with her emotions, reminding her of what could have been.</p>
<p>Suddenly, during dinner, a commotion erupted. Rajesh coughed violently, his face turning pale as food lodged in his throat. Without thinking, Ritu leaped into action.</p>
<p>&ldquo;Rajesh! Hold on!&rdquo; she exclaimed, rushing to his side. Instinctively, she performed the Heimlich maneuver, her hands pressing into his abdomen just as they had practiced during college. After a few tense moments, Rajesh gasped, managing to breathe once more, relief flooding his features as he looked at her, grateful and surprised.</p>
<p>&ldquo;Thank you, Ritu,&rdquo; he managed to say, his eyes sparkling with something unspoken. The lingering gaze between them ignited a spark, illuminating their past feelings buried deep within.</p>
<p>As the night wore on, Ritu felt an overwhelming sense of guilt. Was she drawn to Rajesh, or was it merely her longing for a different life? The evening came to a close, and she hurriedly found Ramesh&rsquo;s car, avoiding a proper goodbye to Rajesh. A knot formed in her stomach, but she pushed it aside, maintaining a facade of composure.</p>
<p>The next morning, sunlight poured through her bedroom window once more. Ritu sipped her tea as usual when a notification chimed on her phone. A message popped up: “Hi Baby.” It was from Rajesh. Her heart raced; the words echoed memories of simpler, happier times. The playful banter from their college days seemed alive again.</p>
<p>Ritu: &ldquo;Hi Rajesh! How are you?&rdquo;</p>
<p>Rajesh: &ldquo;Surviving! But I think I owe you a dinner for last night’s rescue.&rdquo;</p>
<p>Ritu chuckled to herself, remembering how they would joke about their future over chai in the college canteen. “Dinner?” she mused aloud, her heart racing as she considered the possibilities.</p>
<p>Days passed, and soon a full week had gone by. Ramesh returned home late one evening, his demeanor cold as usual. Ritu served him dinner, forcing a smile that felt more like a mask. The distance between them had become a chasm, and Ritu often found solace in her memories of Rajesh.</p>
<p>With each message exchanged, Ritu felt herself transforming. The warmth of those forgotten feelings enveloped her, drawing her closer to Rajesh. They made plans to meet, a casual coffee transitioning into something deeper, and before long, Ritu found herself lost in conversations that lingered long after they parted.</p>
<p>One evening, under the guise of running errands, Ritu met Rajesh at a quaint café.</p>
<p><img alt="Cozy café with wooden interiors and" loading="lazy" src="/images/romance/ritu_the_lonely_housewife_20250914_17_pics_20250914_17/image2.jpg">
<em>Cozy café with wooden interiors and a large window showing the setting sun, Reflective and intimate, Late summer, early evening</em></p>
<p>The air was rich with the aroma of coffee and pastries, and the evening sun dipped low, casting a golden hue over everything.</p>
<p>&ldquo;Ritu,&rdquo; Rajesh said, leaning closer. &ldquo;You know, I never forgot about you. Even when life took us in different directions, I always hoped we’d have a second chance.&rdquo;</p>
<p>His honesty struck her like a bolt of electricity.</p>
<p>&ldquo;Rajesh, I can’t&hellip; I’m married. I have a son,&rdquo; she replied, her heart torn. The weight of her responsibilities anchored her thoughts.</p>
<p>&ldquo;But are you truly happy in your marriage?&rdquo; His eyes searched hers, wanting the truth.</p>
<p>Ritu paused, the world around them fading away. Was she merely existing, or was happiness something she could still chase? It felt like standing at a crossroads.</p>
<p>&ldquo;Sometimes, I think about what love really is,&rdquo; she whispered, her voice barely audible.</p>
<p>Just then, her phone buzzed, shattering the moment. Ramesh&rsquo;s name lit up the screen, and she realized how far she&rsquo;d wandered from her daily reality.</p>
<p>The two worlds collided, and Ritu felt a surge of strength.</p>
<p>&ldquo;Maybe love is not just a hypothesis,&rdquo; she said, looking directly at Rajesh. &ldquo;Maybe it’s a choice—a choice I have to face.&rdquo;</p>
<p>Rajesh smiled softly, as if understanding the complexity of her words.</p>
<p>That day, Ritu returned home feeling different—a sense of empowerment ignited within her. It wasn&rsquo;t just about rekindling old flames; it was about rediscovering herself.</p>
<p>As she stepped inside, Ramesh looked up from his piles of paperwork. “Where were you?&quot; he asked with a tone that was both accusatory and indifferent.</p>
<p>&ldquo;Just out,&rdquo; Ritu replied, holding her head high. Perhaps it was time for her to reclaim her narrative, for her son&rsquo;s sake, if not for her own.</p>
<p>A new chapter had begun, where the definition of love would no longer remain a mere hypothesis but an adventure waiting to unfold.</p>
]]></content:encoded></item></channel></rss>